Fickle.

I cannot wait until the day when I look back at my life during this very moment and say "ah, so that's what that was for".

 I moved out here to Utah on a whim almost five years ago now and cannot help but feel even more lost than I did those few years back. 

During my time out here I have lived, I have loved, and I have learned. I cherish the memories made, the friends that have come and gone, and the essential life lessons that came about. I do not claim to have wasted my time out here. I am certain this is the exact place where I was supposed to be during the last five years. I do not know why but I have always felt like this is the place I need to be. Recently, however, I have not been feeling that certainty. 

I honestly feel like the two feet that direct me forward everyday are now floating above me as I lye on my back. I can indubitably say that I hate this feeling. I loathe every bit of confusion and lost feeling this brings me. I am well aware that this is part of life, but this time around it brings me more bewilderment than ever before. 

I go about my days in a manor which I believe is right. I am patient (as best to my ability as that entails) and I know that as long as I am doing what is right my Heavenly Father will place me where I need to be. I do not just believe that, I know that, but I still put too much pressure on myself. I wonder all the time if the decisions I am making are the absolute best choices for me. It is not a lack of faith I have for my Heavenly Father, but for myself. Of course I make decisions that I see obvious to benefit me, but it is the ones I cannot foresee that scare the tar out of me. 

For quite some time now I haven't been the happy Shelby that I normally am, and this makes me feel so horrible! I am so unbelievably blessed and truly have the whole world at my hands, so why this dejection? This certainly isn't the first time I have been in a stage of ambiguity, so why is this specific time bringing me down so forcefully? I really need to change something in my life, I just don't know quite what it is yet. In the meantime I will still go about my days living my life to the best of my ability. I have no doubt that I will be placed where I should be, but that does not mean I don't get anxiety over it.

What I do know is this: Life is good. We can be having the worst day, month, year, even decade! But the things we go through in life are tailor-made for us. And we go through them so that we can appreciate things so much more and come to understand what life is really about. Whatever reason(s) I am going through this fickle stage are, I know that it means something good will come of it. There will be a result from this experience, and it will be for my benefit.

The best advice I received from my dad when I was seriously down was this- "the best thing you can do is laugh. Laugh really hard at something".

Laughing is the best medicine anyone can receive. Regardless of whether or not the blues you are having is for a quick moment or long term, laughing truly does help. It may just be a quick fix, but those quick fixes add up to a long time of laughter and happiness. So go on, and find something to make you laugh really hard.

Today was such a BEAUTIFUL day!

 I sat inside the first four hours of the morning behind the drive-thru window at work staring out at the gorgeous blue skies. There was not one cloud in the sky, it was truly magnificent. 

As soon as we closed the branch I rushed home to grab some lunch, fought every last desire of mine to take a nap, and then packed up my bike and headed to the canyon. Speaking of packing up my bike, I finally investigated the ins and outs of my car and was determined to figure out if my backseats folded down. After several failed attempts I called another girl who has the same car and she encouraged me to dig around in the trunk, where her car button is. 

VICTORY! Her model is slightly different than mine, so it took me more time than proposed. I cant believe I have gone six years w/o utilizing this wonderful feature. I have thus used it twice in the last three days to load my bike in. Oh the simple pleasures in life :)
The bike ride was wonderful. I rode all the way up to Bridal Veil Falls, I wanted to go further but the snow and ice on the trails did not permit me to do so. If we keep having days like today than hopefully the trails will be all clear soon. Every time I come back from a bike ride I am in such a better mood. I absolutely LOVE being outside and being active. It will be even more fun as soon as Danielle fixes her tires so that she can come with me!

.............................

Tonight is the night where we set our clocks forward an hour. I never want to miss that extra hour of sleep, but this time it might be good for me. For 7 nights in a row I have been waking up at 4:00am and staying awake for hours, it hasn't failed once. There is nothing new in my schedule, in my diet, no new mattress, my stress level remains the same as usual, so I am baffled as to why my body is punishing me. I cant keep this up much longer so hopefully it works itself out, otherwise I am going to take this chaos to my Doc. It is already 3:00am so maybe this time I will sleep through the night. One can only hope.

Tomorrow is expected to be 57 degrees so Danielle and I bought a kite to utilize this nice weather. Oh and we aren't just talking any kind of kite here...it's a Cinderella kite. Be jealous.

I am now off to try my hand in this whole sleeping through the night thing.
I just wished myself good luck.

  

The Itching Has Become a Rash

It's really not as gruesome as it sounds. 

My best friend and I are taking a weekend trip to Moab in April, and the anticipation has become painful. She is flying in from my precious town of Puyallup, and then we will head to Arches National Park the very  next day. Needles to say I AM ECSTATIC!  I have been to Moab three times now, but this trip could be the best of all. Why? Because I will be experiencing it with my bestie! She is the only one I know that shares my serious love for hiking, camping, and exploring. Stephanie has never been before, so I am very eager to see her reaction to such a beautiful place, especially because where we come from is pure lush greenness, trees, and the magnificent backyard of Mt. Rainier. Arches may only be a few states away, but the climate change truly is dramatic. I am itching to get there!

I am rather bummed however with the grave news I received on Sunday-the word on the street is the bolts from the top of Corona Arch have been removed. I have been dying to do this rope swing ever since I caught wind of the video, and when I found out my brother-in-law's brother and cousin (who are in the video) are part of the group of people that set this up, I thought I was a shoe in! I had personal connections to this adventurous scheme and was going to take full advantage of it. If you know anything about my history, though, it is probably for the best that I may not be partaking of such succulent excitement. I'm sure my parents wont miss the call from the Emergency Room. 

Maybe one day.... ... ... ...

In the meantime I will be preoccupied with another dentist trip next weekend, work, and the new program TRAILS that I am volunteering with at the U of U. I am having my first orientation this Thursday- FINALLY. After applications, a back round check, 15 TESTS, and a packet of paperwork, I now get to proceed with my orientation and then a medical exam. I am hoping that the Volunteer Application Process is much less strenuous than the actual volunteering itself. We shall see! :) 

In better news, I am almost finished reupholstering my chair! I have the atrocious process of putting on the back, and then finishing the cushion. The only thing that is more time consuming then planned is the cushion because I ran out of bloody fabric! I ordered 5 yards, 2 more yards than I anticipated on using, yet I still run out of fabric. Brilliant.

Now if you will excuse me I need to figure out how to put up temporary blocks on Danielle's computer. This way she can cut her homework time in half! Who would of thought that surfing the internet every five seconds was a form of procrastination!?

Roots

I think I can officially consider going to the dentist as a hobby now. It had been five whole years since I stepped into that death trap of a place when I was home for Christmas, and after two days of drilling and filling i still needed to make 6 more appointments to get my grill functioning properly again. 6 appointments!? It gets worse. I am not covered as far as insurance purposes out here in Utah, so I have to make my dentist appointments according to flight fares and work. It is heinous, but I would much rather spend several hundred dollars on plane tickets then $10,000.00 for all of this work. 

I flew home last week for two days and went straight from the airport to the dentist, and then straight from the dentist to the airport the following day. He performed 2 root canals, and after all of the hype on how atrocious they are, it really wasn't that bad. Did my mouth still hurt though? Absolutely. I was able to get a pic on my phone of what was going on in my mouth while the dentist was away.

My jaw hurt for a good three days after that. 

Even though it was only for one night, it was good to be home and be with my family. When I was preparing for dinner I opened up some cupboards and noticed we still have signs up that my best friend made YEARS ago, I'm talking a good 8 at least, and it made me so happy to see them still there. She also put one on the back of my parents bedroom door, though I cant recall what it said. 

The one on the far right says "steph is such a hottie", yep, she's my best friend. 

I returned home the next day and was back to work. Oh joy.

But onto better news, I bought a mountain bike! I am VERY well pleased with this purchase and am so excited to start taking it out on some trails. I tested her out last Monday and am just getting used to adjusting the gears. I cant wait until Danielle fixes her tires so we can ride together!

I also may have spent all of my tax return already. I didn't get much back, but between my mountain bike and decorations the money is now gone. Oops :)

This new picture above our kitchen table.

Nothing new here, but I liked how I rearranged our fruit in these vases

 I spray painted Beethoven gold and joined him with some other new trinkets that I put above our TV.

I also bought many new picture frames and made an arrangement above our couch, but i forgot to upload the picture, and quite frankly I am too lazy to do so right now.

Nothing extremely exciting going on in my life right now, but these are just some of the things that have been keeping me busy while i am in this place they call "Winter". It shouldn't be much longer until I can roam freely in my humble abode of SUMMER!

The Countdown Begins!!

It is safe to say I am a very adventurous person. So much good can come of this, while on the other hand if I am not doing much I tend to lose my mind. As custom, the winter has brought much cold (although not as much snow as usual) and the weather has not been permitting for me to go on my frequent hikes. Thus, I AM GOING CRAZY! I still push myself to be outside as much as possible but with freezing tempuratures I can only handle so much, and with the lack of time..and money...a snowboarding pass would be nonsensicle, therefore I have resulted in my search for a vacation.

Would I like a vacation that my wallet agrees with? Absolutely. Does that mean limited choices? Again, absolutely. I have been dying to travel the world my entire life, but without a lump sum of money and resources I am forced to live within my means, which is okay. Dont get me wrong, I have a full time job and am extremely grateful to be able to pay all of my bills and even have a small amount left over, but this means I have to be smart about my money.

I feel like I am to a point in my life where I deserve even an expensive adventure that I wont feel guilty about taking. Well guess what? IT IS TIME! Nothing is booked yet, but you better believe I am doing everything in my power to make this happen. I have requested work off, emailed who I need to for reservations, and almost have 100% on my reqruitment.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

... ... ... ... .. ... .. ... ... .. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

I AM GOING TO BELIZE!!!!!

Here is where me and three of my friends will be staying:

In this adorable little Thatch!

On this adorable little island!

With this adorable little guy!!

And here is our adorable little view of the MilkyWay every night.

We will be leaving in mid-july and stay for a week. I will be able to celebrate my birthday here! BEST.BIRTHDAY.EVER!

The countdown has officially begun.

Alice Lane

Alice Lane you are so wonderful. One day i will be able to afford anything and everything i want from there. My newest obsession?  this pillow! 

http://blog.alicelanehome.com/uncategorized/its-giveaway-time/

Magnificent Monday!

Monday was truly a magnificent day! I was grateful to have the day off from work, and thanks to some amazing friends of mine I was able to go snowboarding :) :). 

I woke up in the early morning and met my new friend Schlib up in Park City at The Canyons. 

A little side note here, I have only been snowboarding 3 times in my whole life, the last time 5 years ago.

 I was expecting Lib to do his own thing, but surprisingly he stuck with me and was actually a very good teacher! He had to leave for work around 1:00 which was precisely the time Danielle came up to play. Another side note, Danielle is just as awful as I am! Although I must say by the end of our day we were pretty darn good. You probably wouldn't be able to tell, though, judging on our bruises.

This picture does NOT do this bruise justice, but this is Danielle's arm...after me running over it...with my board... oopsies :)

HAHA I cant help but laugh so hard every time I think about our collision. I was practicing riding toe-side when I may have gotten a bit out of control and began to haul serious butt towards Danielle. Did I mention I was backwards!? I could barely see Danielle out of the corner of my eye when I started yelling "MOVE DANIELLE!" I don't know why I commanded her to move so abruptly when she can barely stand up on a   snowboard as it is. The next thing I knew we were involved in a full on back-to-front collision. I am still trying to figure out how I ended up about 5 feet in front of her. Regardless, the people on the lift right above us got an earful of fun words.

 

After a long but fantastic day on the mountain it was time to head home. We made some dinner and then to end our wonderful day watched How to Train Your Dragon.

I cannot wait to go again! My next goal (besides becoming a snowboarding champion) is to get my mom out here to go with me! Love you mommy :)