7 AM THOUGHTS

WARNING: I just read over this post and it is absolutely not what I intended on writing. It is much more of a rant than anything else, but seeing as how only like 5 people read this I figure I'll leave it how it is.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

It is 7am and I am laying in bed feeling like a big change needs to happen in my life. Again.

It has been two and a half months since I ended my last relationship. An extremely hard decision to do, but I knew it needed to be done. As per usual in any relationship with this broad, it was absolutely amazing...but I knew he wasn't the one. And can I just say how much that sucks?! We spent everyday for almost a year laughing, exploring, adventure seeking, and cuddling. That right there is a perfect recipe for happiness in my book! But as happy and amazing as that was, I knew there was a different plan for me. I miss my best friend everyday still, but I know that I made the right decision.

I look back now at all of my relationships and can only wonder who I am going to end up with...or when it's going to happen. I have had nothing but the very best of relationships with the very best of people, but the Lord has someone or something else for me in mind. Years ago I planned on marrying the man of my dreams, but after months and months of confirmation that he wasn't the one for me, I had to let him go. To this day that was the hardest decision I have ever made in my entire life. That was five years ago and even right now I am tearing up just thinking about how hard that was and how much that hurt. I have experienced tragedies and death of loved ones, but this was a completely different kind of hurt. I have to thank my Heavenly Father and my family for getting me through that time. My sister and bro in law for letting me sleep at their house for the first month so I wasn't alone, and my mother for letting me call her every single second that I was by myself to cry together. Sometimes I compare this to trials in my life today and think...if I was able to overcome this, then I can get through anything. On the contrary I think, if I ended the thing that made me the absolute happiest in life to gain something even better , then why four years later have I not gotten that? I know that I have lived and loved and gained so much experience and knowledge within the last few years, but I feel more lost now than ever before. I know that the Lord has a plan, but sometimes it is so hard to stick with that plan. 

I know where I am right now in life is where I am supposed to be. It certainly isn't where I want to be, but it is where I should be. Being 25 and single in Provo is the last thing I ever wanted, but obviously I am to gain something from this. And I don't want to make it seem that all my problems would go away once I'm married, but I am someone who loves love and seeks it more than anything else in this world. I truly believe that man and woman are not created whole until they are united with the one they love. I am not holding out on happiness until I get my golden ticket, but that doesn't mean I don't want it very badly. Life is an amazing gift we have been given and I am thankful every single day for the air that fills my lungs. Some days are great, others are bad, but the journey is wonderful. I need to focus all of my attention every single day to do what the Lord would have me do so that I can be where he wants me to be, because essentially that is where I want to be. And for the first time in months, I am hopeful.

Summer Surgery

I was rummaging through some picture on my computer and found some gems from my last surgery.

Over the summer I went home to Washington to have surgery on both legs for Varicose veins (yes, I'm 80 years old).  It was a 2 week process of my mother chauffeuring me across The Narrows so the doctors could put me in weird underwear and draw on my legs . The operation itself involved drilling holes in my legs, one day at a time, then inserting a special wire into six of my veins and physically pulling the vein out of the whole to snip the vein. It is then stitched up and put back into my leg and overtime my body will absorb the vein and the blood that once flowed through those veins will now use other veins to pump the blood. They prescribed me Vicodin and Loratab to take before the procedure, but wouldn't you know it this girl is allergic to Vicodin, so I just took the Loratab and toughed it out. My mother was there both times to hold my hand and watch in fascination as they played with my insides while I squeemed over how gross it felt. 

Connect the dots.

Leg 1 done.

I had to wear compression socks for at least 2 weeks post surgery, and I can promise you I have never had a harder workout than getting those stupid things on and off. The recovery wasn't too bad, but there was quite a bit of pain for a few weeks. Scaring isn't too bad but the thing that bothers me most is the loss of nerves on the insides of both my thighs. The surgeon said the feeling could come back but it is likely that they will remain numb indefinitely. I guess the good thing about that is I can't feel my thighs flapping together when I walk, so in my mind I have a great thigh gap! woohoo! 

Tis the Season

It's about that time again, and as a former Lift Ops Manager at Park City Mountain Resort I have no other choice but to be ecstatic about this upcoming season. Here is a 2 minute video that will blow your mind. 

Just watch it. You'll thank yourself after.

http://vimeo.com/108679294

45 Life Lessons

Regina Brett wrote down these life lessons the night before her 45th birthday after being diagnosed with breast cancer. 

These universal lessons are relatable to anyone who needs a little reminder of what’s important in life.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement, starting with your first paycheck.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
14. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
15. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
16. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
17. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
20. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
25. Forgive everyone everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
30. Believe in miracles.
31. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
32. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
33. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
34. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
35. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
36. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
37. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
40. The best is yet to come.
41. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
42. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
43. If you don't ask, you don't get.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

13-14 Season

I have had the amazing opportunity to work at Park City Mountain Resort all season, and it truly has been an adventure. Besides the commute from Orem every morning, this job has had nothing but great things to offer. I actually enjoy going to work, which rarely happens anymore in this day and age. From new friends to new places, this place has been a great experience for me. 

With the season coming to an end I will soon return to my other favorite job as a zipline guide in Provo canyon. I may not be as well off as I used to be, but I would much rather enjoy myself everyday and be poor than wealthier and miserable at some other job. Here's to many more adventures this beautiful state has to offer!

On top of a water tower overlooking some of Park City

Good Ol' Bob

Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?

-Bob Marley

Compliments

Compliments cost nothing, yet many pay dear for them.

They are no new thing; some people give them sincerely while others say them just to get one back in return.

This week I received two compliments that legitimately made my day. The first was from someone who I had just met the day of. After a full day of being around me this individual told me that the reason he liked me (strictly platonic people...) was because I was a "wild card". I know that I am a fun and crazy girl, but for some reason the way this gentleman worded the compliment truly made me feel good, and almost a week later has still left me smiling.

The second one I received earlier this week was from another supervisor at work. This man is always full of compliments, but he is so genuine and truly means what he says. He came up to me in the morning while I was sitting at my desk and told me that I am someone who makes this place (our job) enjoyable and a fun place to come to. How sweet is this man!? 

It is always so encouraging to get a sincere compliment from someone. They can reassure, uplift, and even inspire you. Heck, a good compliment can get me through several months!

I have always been fairly good at giving compliments, but it is the receiving part of it that I can improve on. 

Let us not be afraid to lift one another up. Too often we underestimate the power of the simple things, and something as simple as a compliment can have the potential to turn days, weeks, and even lives around. 

An unexpected call tonight.

Recently I have been slightly down on love, and last night I called my Mother and best friend bawling to her on the phone and told her of my recent heart ache. Thank Heavens for a mother who is so wonderful to listen, comfort, and love me unconditionally. She must have called my grandpa and told him of my situation, because tonight I got a phone call from my Papa Ted.

"Shelby, I just want you to know that your night in shining armor is out there and he will find you, so stop worrying so much about it". I was completely taken aback, but couldn't help the tears from swelling up in my eyes. I love my grandpa to pieces, but have never been really close to him. If we talked about something it was fishing or the horses or country music-feelings just wasn't on the menu for discussion. I knew he loved me, but it was an unspoken thing. He proceeded to tell me about how he and my grandma met and that this year will be their 54th anniversary. "It doesn't matter if we've been married 54 years or 50, so stop worrying about when it will happen, because it will. You're too attractive and funny and have that vivacious personality to go unnoticed. He will ride up on a white horse and slay all those dragons for you".

It was so nice to have those encouraging words from my grandpa, but more importantly to know how much he loves me. I am so grateful for friends, and especially family who are there for me, regardless of if I ask for it or not. Without family I would be lost, and I am so thankful for them in my life.

To finish his grandfatherly advice, he informed that " It's just as easy to fall in love with a guy with a lot of money as it is to fall in love with a guy without any". Thank you grandpa, I'll try and take your advice and "find one of those really rich skiers". 

<3

A New Year.

I'm not sure what I'll do, but- well, I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale. 

-F Scott Fitzgerald